The Saturday Worker

Hello there people! well it is a Saturday night and there is nothing on telly at all so I thought I would add some of my infinite wisdom to my blog. To re-cap we were chit chatting about all the goings on in my wedding shop over the years which I thankfully no longer have to suffer. We have come to the Saturday "worker". The word "Worker" is used loosely here....

The Saturday worker

This one deserves a chapter all of its own. It’s rather difficult to hire a Saturday worker but essential in this business because your time spent backwards and forward from one room to another with countless veils, tiaras and shoes make Saturdays a living hell. “Oh I wanted a full veil… no maybe not, what about mid length… now what about a tiara…. Do you have any shoes” for god’s sake you are only trying on a wedding dress and your wedding isn’t until 2018!!

So the Saturday girl is all-important however, there are various stumbling blocks along the way. For instance getting the right Saturday girl, she must be
a) Not too vertically challenged as she must be able to reach the rails for the dresses without showing all her midriff with compulsory bellybutton piercing and tattoo.
b) Not too clarty with makeup, which at the teenage years is, a massive hurdle but ivory dresses don’t especially look favourable with luminous blue lipstick and body glitter strewn across the front.
c) Being able to string a sentence together is also invaluable “yes madam can I help you” all too often is replaced with “what” or even just a shrug of shoulders.
d) Trustworthiness is also a plus point as your stationery cupboard supplies seem to reduce at an alarming rate not to mention the crystals and pearls collection for beading dresses.
e) And of course the all-important cleaning skills, if they don’t know their Window Cleaner from their nail polish remover you may as well forget it.

I tend to find myself following the Saturday girl round either re-cleaning the lethargically polished windows or removing her from the heater with hands on hips and attempting to awaken her from her dream like state into action reminding her that the waiting area sofa is for the customers not her. Apparently being 35+ years of age I am “from the arc” and schooling has changed so much since I frequented it. You simply cannot take £1.32 from £10.32 without a calculator, as it’s not fair to your Saturday worker to make them work out complicated sums like that in their head.

Spelling too is a stumbling block do you spell Wedding with one D or two? Of course I don’t mind answering questions such as “what does seamstress mean?” but does it take much brain to realise that you pick up a dress when you carry it rather than stomping footprints into the train and maybe putting a veil back onto the hook on the wall when its still fast under her size 7 shoe might prove difficult.

Answering the phone can be a stumbling block “yes” usually replaces “good afternoon can I help you” and “can you wait a bit” apparently suffices instead of “if you could hold the line I will check that for you”. My favourite is when she shouts my first name bellowing, “I don't understand what this woman is talking about” while the customer is still on the other end listening to every word, priceless.

You see the difficulty is that these teenagers think that it would be really cool to work in a bridal shop. What they don’t realise is it is actually hard work so usually after about four weeks they have resigned. They also think it really cool to bring their friends in during their lunch break to finger through the dresses and try on the tiaras or stroll in half a hour late because they are so tired from being on facebook or texting Chantelle that previous night. And when you have finally got them to do a half decent job they leave because it’s easier to work in Sainsburys.