Thought I would add a little post while the YAAAWWWNNN football is on.
Another of our brides and their funny little ways ......

The Timid ones..

Big Brother, The X Factor.. TOWIE! we are surounded constantly with TV shows of teenagers and twenty somethings desperate for media attention in an attempt to get their "Fifteen minutes of fame" and will do anything outragous to get it.  So we presume everyone has so much confidence these days they can stand on a table and sing FAME! at the top of their voices.  So when you have a Timid customer of course we tried to be patient but you do tend to think to yourself "are you frickin kiddin me?" not only is it dificult to get any articulate word from their lips they also look in absolute horror and disgust when you ask them to remove their clothes before trying on a dress

Bride - “What! you mean I have to take off my trousers aswell?”

“Are you intending on wearing your Boot legs under your wedding dress on the day?”

Do they think I haven’t seen it all before? Sometimes you feel like Hattie Jacques as the superior Ward Sister in Carry on Nurse, standing with hands on hips rolling eyes stomping of foot shouting "come on I haven't got all day".

I watched rather amused as a bride put her trousers in her teeth to shield herself throwing a dress up in the air to catch it before the trousers drop to display horror of horrors her knees, ankles or other risqué areas. I am not sure what they think excites us bridal shop owners but I can assure you I am not the least bit interested in what a bride has on under her M & S cardigan and Green Corduroy trousers.

Our job is to get you in and out of the dress and I don’t care how shy you are you cannot button up fifteen buttons and lace an inner corset on your own, well unless you are a circus performer with very weird pivoting limbs. Can I ask how you are going to cope with over one hundred guests staring at you as you walk down the aisle? I mean if you cannot stand having one woman assist you with your dress you’re in serious trouble dear, and what about the wedding night?

I have been subjected to the G-string horror or even worse (and I'm not kidding here folks) the bride without underwear at all! so I am sure I can live with anything after that.... nothing shocks me now, not even green corduroy.

These girls are also extremely difficult to get any sort of reaction from so much is their shyness they cannot muster a reaction to anything.

“How do you feel in that one then?” I ask cheerily

“ok” they answer blankly.

Now I am not a rude person but quite frankly they get on my tits! how am I supposed to know what to try on next if I don’t get a proper answer? It seems such a stressful enough episode to put one single dress on for them so surely giving me some input to avoid dresses they don't like would be constructive don't ya think?

I sometimes answered with “well your wedding dress should not be just “ok” so its obviously not the one for you then is it?” a very good tactic if you want the girl to get out of the bloody thing quick sharpish and stop messing about. Often, however, you are met with the reply “well I think I like it” can you tell me how someone can “think” they like something? my god! either you do or you don’t. Its not a chocolate biscuit or a subway sandwich it’s your wedding dress! do you really want to look back in twenty years at your photographs and say “oh yes dear remember our wedding and my dress I “sort” of liked”.... how romantic!

It is sometimes like being in a sci-fi episode “Attack of the Cyborg Bride”. I mean, honestly …. I am sorry to ask it but, what man is marrying this person? Has he had a frontal lobotomy too? you can image them sat at home on a weekend watching Heartbeat or Last of the Summer Wine together whilst knitting Angora Jumpers, Air fixing RAF Planes and Finishing that 5000 piece Jigsaw they started when they got engaged 10 years ago occasionally glancing over at one another smiling whilst slurping a cup a soup.