Mother of the Bride from Hell?

These fall in to two categories

A - The lovely mum that is subjected to hell from the over obsessive and ill-mannered Daughter. One particularly “trying” bride came for her fitting in a really god-awful mood. You would think it would be a happy time but no, maybe it’s the time of the month, who knows? either way her mother got it right in the neck so to speak.

Bride - “I just cant stand this, its too uncomfortable I am used to wearing T-shirts”

“And the train is annoying I cant walk in this and its catching on my shoes and the veil looks all wrong”.

Now I was standing quite far back at this point away from the firing line (about two miles) but the mother made a big mistake

Mother - “perhaps you should leave it for today and come another day you are obviously not in the right frame of mind dear”

I swear to god if that bride had any sharp implement in her hand I would be in the dock as a murder witness as we speak. She let total rip into her poor mother who just stood there and took it like a sponge. She definitely deserved my award for “Most brave Mother” a true wonder of calm and patience.

Now in extreme opposition is

b) The mother herself from Hell who demands the best of everything for her Angel from Heaven Daughter for her super special Royal Wedding like day. From day one we usually get a run down of the amount of money to be spent on the day and of course the entire happiness of her daughter and the whole day rests in our hands so watch out! I usually get a full grilling by “mumsy” on where the reception is going to be and how many extremely famous people are going to the event of the century and that it will be £300 per head for the meal alone! Then just to make sure I understand the velocity of the day I receive numerous answer phone messages to call her back immediately simply so she can confirm the thing she has already confirmed three times before just to make triply sure I have it tattooed into my brain.

One mother just for example called me every single day for a whole week to check the arrival of her daughters veil. She was “very concerned” and “worried” that it had not arrived even though it wasn’t due of another three days. When it finally arrived on the exact day it was due to arrive she simply replied “oh I cant come and pick it up now I am far too busy, I will come in a couple of weeks as there is not rush, the wedding isn’t til next month”.